As an Asian, I am well aware of the shortest of our shortcomings as a subspecies of the human race. Ok, I get it, we got little dicks. I’m constantly reminded by it in our daily culture of dick waving and everybody looking for the next miracle-gro pill to shove into our balls and hope for the best. Worse yet, Asians are constantly disparaging ourselves, looking at small dicks as a negativism and even making fun of ourselves. It’s destroying our ego, and our status in American society.
This actually isn’t a chinese finger trap. It’s a fleshlight that can only fit asians.
We’ve all been brain washed to believe bigger is better, and that’s all that matters when it comes to dicks. I beg to differ.
1. My dick can fit in places yours can’t
You might think that having a giant cock has no sexual disadvantage, but you are wrong. All those girls who refuse to do anal because it’s uncomfortable or it hurts? Guess who fits in snug like a fucking key? Me, bitches. Oh I’m sorry, does your girlfriend refuse to deep throat you? Too bad long cock johnson, cause Wei Too Small has never had that problem.
Not to mention, if you’re dick is that big, then you’re going to have to find a fat chick with some cavernous monstrosity of a vagina to accommodate. Bigger snake, bigger pit. Makes sense, yeah? Lastly…what do you need a nine inch cock for anyways? You trying to fuck her pussy or her stomach?
Too beaucoup? Not me!
2. My dick is accident proof
This will never, ever happen to me. Daily accidents like dick catching a zipper, getting caught in a drawer, in a refrigerator door, or getting tangled with my legs, will never happen to me. My dick will stay hidden like a ninja, and stay out of the way until called upon.
3. My dick is torture proof
Haha! You missed again, bitch!
Many of history’s worst torture methods involve the male genitalia. Nazis used to shove glass rods in your penis and then break the rod. Good luck finding a glass rod that fits in mine, assholes. Especially on a cold day. Bobbit probably would have just ended up with a missing finger if he were Asian. Any torture or trauma involving the penis, is going to be 10 times easier on me, so in your face long dong!
4. I can always buy a faster car
A Porsche for the confident.
You might put King Kong to shame, but I can always buy a faster car. And the big tittied bitch will always see my fast car before she ever sees your dick.
Fuck you and your clunky-ass Jorge Muresan dicks. The fuck you going to do with it anyways? The main problem with the conception that a bigger penis is better, is that it assumes women will like you better for it. But nobody’s ever going to know about your golf club dick. Bitches have jeans and skank shirts that will show off their goods. What can you do? Leave your fly open so that the tip shows? Good luck with that one.
Fuck you big dicks!!